Mouth-Fart Movies: 2012

Do you like movies about dates and stuff going all, "plaaoow! kabloooie! and boooommcrumble!"? Then 2012 is for you. Roland Emmerich has really hit his stride when it comes to date based movies, which he took a blood oath in 1996 to be the only projects he takes on. After "Independence Day", "The Day After Tomorrow", and "10,000 B.C." Emmerich has perfected the nuance of destroying national landmarks with giant fucking disasters. Personally, I have a hard time following movies that throw in a bunch of filler like "character development" and "cohesive logic", so watching stuff get fucked up for 89 minutes is Oscar material in my book. The best part is when **SPOILER ALERT** shit's all blowing up and shit, and the guy is all like "GO GO GO!" and the other guy is like "I'm going as fast as I can! I've never driven a NASCAR before!" and then the black guy is all, "I GOTS to get me one of these!"

Rating: 4 Thumbs Down